Alice is wondering...

Each time I visit The Nieuwe Kerk in Amsterdam, I get mixed feelings. First time we went there with Mattia was to see the exhibition about the life of Francis Bacon. Despite the fact that Mr. Bacon turned out to be an extremely interesting personality and artist, I felt sort of constant anxiety while being inside of that church. It had no 'divinity' to be overwhelmed by. It is my personal point of view only, but a church or any other kind of temple, should give you the excitement and fear of something greater. As a 'non' believer' I find it hard to be surrounded by figures of holy people, to be trapped between all of the painting presenting scenes from the Bible. I've been raised to put my trust in the catholic promises of heaven for the good ones, and hell- for the sinners. So visiting the Nieuwe Kerk once again, to see the World Press Photo 2014 was even harder than my first time at that venue. There HE is- the almighty God, and there he is- a young b...

Alright. It seems like I can't publish entries about my gym progresses and eating habits, because each time I underline how good it's going- I fail again by making bad food choices and skipping gym. So if I succeed- you will just notice it, I won't be writing about it in public anymore. What else is there to focus on? I will tell you about our self development progress. Mattia got in to Gerrit Rietveld Academie. Yes- it's a fancy ass fine arts academy and we've been hoping for this to happen since he got his appointment to present assignments as a form of exam. There were nervous moments filled with anticipation. Doubts mixed with hopes and fears. Pretending that it's not so important while we couldn't function without knowing the results. And there it is, he got THE letter. He got in and when that moment came, I knew that we will do everything for him to try his best there. I am simply thrilled to see what it will mean for us! Me, myself, I am t...

Nomnomnom! It's been a while since I wrote anything. What makes me laugh a bit is the fact, that each time I make a statement like ''From now on I will write more often'' it ends up as words only. The truth is- I was busy. I was busy with getting my life on the right track again. I wandered off recently and I felt like I've been doing a lot, but none of it right. I didn't control my eating, sleeping, I stopped with working out completely and I put my writing in doubt. I really wasn't happy about all of that. So here I am, admitting that I just had small issues to solve. I can say that most of them are solved or at least on a good way to be solved. I am eating better than ever. I am trying to involve more fruit, vegetables and products that I wasn't convinced about into my daily diet. I am working out at least 3 days a week. I will be totally honest. When I first started to work out more than a year ago, I was damn chubby. I probably was about...

I am writing with a hope that our laptop will not loose wifi as it didn't work properly last few days. I went through kind of personal, intimate and mindful resurrection. There were some small lies that I tried to get away with but people who know me, who believe in me and who hope for the best for me- they could see right through me. It is not again about telling you how I got my shit together and to advise you to do the same, hell no. I still have to put my eating disorder together and motivate myself to go back to sports, reading and  just simply being myself, doing things as I used to when I was mostly proud and fond of myself. Look, the thing is to be absolutely honest with people. You don't have to do it with everyone. Your least favorite colleague from work doesn't have to know about your emotional issues. The lady from the grocery store doesn't need to hear about your lack of confidence. And for sure you don't need to share your problems with you...