So you think you've got it all figured out
Home, work, social life, sports activities. Life.
Balancing everything is easy when it all aligns. But take one of those things out and twist it and the rest turns into a knot similar to the one that can form when you put your earphones in your pocket and after you take them out you are unable to easily untie them.
Resolving such mayhem is not easy. Regarding earphones I just usually shake them around with rage until they untie themselves but in life I deal with it differently. I put all of my focus to that one issue which needs resolving and after I manage that, the rest falls into place again.
At this moment though, there are few knots which need straightening and it is really difficult to stay calm and positive while resolving.
Everything was going pretty well and smooth. My biggest issue might have been my zits coming all over my face due to hormonal changes. And then, out of the blue and all of a sudden one thing led to another and my work and family situation collapsed just as in the domino effect.
I was certain that I have been doing such a great job. Extra training during my off day, helping out at different departments due to hotel being short on staff, being much more active and showing more initiative than ever. I have received two positive reviews from guests and a positive feedback from other team members. Yet still, my new contract is somehow a big question mark.
Do I have strong and honest arguments against it? Oh but of course I do. In order to get a new contract I thought it was crucial to be an important and valuable addition to the team. Not only character wise but regarding skills, experience and educational background. No, that does not seem to be very relevant here as I see other colleagues who keep their positions but who not necessarily have more knowledge or experience than I do.
Am I happy about it? No. Can I do anything about it? I thought I could, so I tried, but it seems that all that I have done within the past 6 months deserves a pat on the back and handshake but no fixed contract. I don't blame anyone but I simply don't understand why me?
I've been told recently that the management cannot offer a fixed contract to everyone. Well. It looks like it can give it to everyone but me.
I have graduated from business school with great results, I have been in the business for over 6 years, I have worked for several major hotels, I am turning 27 this year. Still, despite all of that, I will msot likely have to start all over new.
What about financial stabilization? When will I reach that? When I'm 30? That is when I will be able to jut start thinking about saving some money, renting (or buying) a bigger apartment and starting a family?
I have booked and paid holiday at the end of August but it might be that I will be without a job at that moment. F A N T A S T I C .
Family.
My brother who I always considered mentally strongest from all three of us just had a mental breakdown and, although a bit ashamed, decided to go and see a specialist next week.
He's been spreading himself so thin between home, work and sacrificing his free time that in the end something inside him broke. I can't be there for him and I don't want to send him messages full of great advice because I remember that when I had a breakdown I just wanted to listen to Pink Floyd, drink alcohol and talk to someone who is there physically. I knew deep down inside of me that there was nothing wrong with me but that simply I just needed to get my act together and prioritize things in my life.
And one day, just like that, I got better. I wanted my old self back.
My sister is having a hard time, too. Struggling with work, 4 kids, husband who needs extra attention now and a father in law who sadly, might be passing away because of his Alzheimer.
I can and will get through it. I am, in the end, relatively young so I have the power for it and the will. But my God, those two people from whom I have learnt the most about life could really use a break right now. How long do I have to see them fighting and making their ways through difficulties in life in order to have a weekend off or so? It seems there is no reward, there is just a constant, ongoing fight and maybe a moment or two of sunshine.
I think about my parents, too. They still make wrong choices. Buying new, unnecessary furniture instead of putting money away to, for example, visit us or go for a weekend to some nice resort.
But when I see my Dad finally downloading WhatsApp and sending me cute messages (although he is an electrical technician he has difficulties adjusting to modern technologies) my heart simply melts.
He also has worked all his life and still does, so that he can retire at the age of 67 and have just enough money to pay the rent and do the groceries.
Hey, I am not calling out for justice in the world because there is no fucking justice. A man in Syria just lost his entire family including infant twins due to a chemical explosion. He definitely did not deserve that and we definitely cannot compare.
I just wish that things would evolve in the way they should when you're doing everything you can to make them work.
Balancing everything is easy when it all aligns. But take one of those things out and twist it and the rest turns into a knot similar to the one that can form when you put your earphones in your pocket and after you take them out you are unable to easily untie them.
Resolving such mayhem is not easy. Regarding earphones I just usually shake them around with rage until they untie themselves but in life I deal with it differently. I put all of my focus to that one issue which needs resolving and after I manage that, the rest falls into place again.
At this moment though, there are few knots which need straightening and it is really difficult to stay calm and positive while resolving.
Everything was going pretty well and smooth. My biggest issue might have been my zits coming all over my face due to hormonal changes. And then, out of the blue and all of a sudden one thing led to another and my work and family situation collapsed just as in the domino effect.
I was certain that I have been doing such a great job. Extra training during my off day, helping out at different departments due to hotel being short on staff, being much more active and showing more initiative than ever. I have received two positive reviews from guests and a positive feedback from other team members. Yet still, my new contract is somehow a big question mark.
Do I have strong and honest arguments against it? Oh but of course I do. In order to get a new contract I thought it was crucial to be an important and valuable addition to the team. Not only character wise but regarding skills, experience and educational background. No, that does not seem to be very relevant here as I see other colleagues who keep their positions but who not necessarily have more knowledge or experience than I do.
Am I happy about it? No. Can I do anything about it? I thought I could, so I tried, but it seems that all that I have done within the past 6 months deserves a pat on the back and handshake but no fixed contract. I don't blame anyone but I simply don't understand why me?
I've been told recently that the management cannot offer a fixed contract to everyone. Well. It looks like it can give it to everyone but me.
I have graduated from business school with great results, I have been in the business for over 6 years, I have worked for several major hotels, I am turning 27 this year. Still, despite all of that, I will msot likely have to start all over new.
What about financial stabilization? When will I reach that? When I'm 30? That is when I will be able to jut start thinking about saving some money, renting (or buying) a bigger apartment and starting a family?
I have booked and paid holiday at the end of August but it might be that I will be without a job at that moment. F A N T A S T I C .
Family.
My brother who I always considered mentally strongest from all three of us just had a mental breakdown and, although a bit ashamed, decided to go and see a specialist next week.
He's been spreading himself so thin between home, work and sacrificing his free time that in the end something inside him broke. I can't be there for him and I don't want to send him messages full of great advice because I remember that when I had a breakdown I just wanted to listen to Pink Floyd, drink alcohol and talk to someone who is there physically. I knew deep down inside of me that there was nothing wrong with me but that simply I just needed to get my act together and prioritize things in my life.
And one day, just like that, I got better. I wanted my old self back.
My sister is having a hard time, too. Struggling with work, 4 kids, husband who needs extra attention now and a father in law who sadly, might be passing away because of his Alzheimer.
I can and will get through it. I am, in the end, relatively young so I have the power for it and the will. But my God, those two people from whom I have learnt the most about life could really use a break right now. How long do I have to see them fighting and making their ways through difficulties in life in order to have a weekend off or so? It seems there is no reward, there is just a constant, ongoing fight and maybe a moment or two of sunshine.
I think about my parents, too. They still make wrong choices. Buying new, unnecessary furniture instead of putting money away to, for example, visit us or go for a weekend to some nice resort.
But when I see my Dad finally downloading WhatsApp and sending me cute messages (although he is an electrical technician he has difficulties adjusting to modern technologies) my heart simply melts.
He also has worked all his life and still does, so that he can retire at the age of 67 and have just enough money to pay the rent and do the groceries.
Hey, I am not calling out for justice in the world because there is no fucking justice. A man in Syria just lost his entire family including infant twins due to a chemical explosion. He definitely did not deserve that and we definitely cannot compare.
I just wish that things would evolve in the way they should when you're doing everything you can to make them work.
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