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My huge thumb says 'hi'!

Hi girls and boys!

How are you doing? Is the summer treating you well? As for myself, I don't know because it is the second sunny day this summer for me so I'm still about to find out.

I've been scrolling through Facebook just today and I think I might know why we are all so insecure.

We follow all of the lifestyle pages, right?
I'll put myself as an example.

Among all of the pages I follow, I follow some about dieting, fitness, self awareness and interior design.

I stay in bed after my alarm clock wakes me up and I scroll down.

Some news, meh, nothing new, just as usual. Some pictures of my friends getting engaged/married/pregnant, meh, this actually doesn't scare me any more or doesn't make me want to roll my eyes either because I realize along with them- I'm getting older too.

Then I see this page saying '10 breakfasts to help you slim your body down'. Oh God, so I'm eating the wrong things for breakfast! All my life I've been having sandwiches made of white bread, yellow cheese and ham but the newest research says that I should grab a low-fat Greek yoghurt with goji berries to stay balanced and keep my metabolism running. And not hurry when I eat. And not watch TV or eat in front of my laptop. Darn! 

Not to mention that the next page tells me I've been doing squats wrong because I never added any extra weights to them. In addition to that, the same page also offers me '40 ways to please my man'. I am not sure if that’s an extension to the squats subject or some completely unrelated topic, but I am dying to read the article because, so help me God, I wouldn't be able to manage this task on my own.

Maybe I shouldn't care for all of the above, because the other page say that 'size 44 is the new 38' so I can just embrace myself the way I am and not give a single damn about dieting and working out? - That's comforting.

But how can I get on with my life if my kitchen is not equipped with the newest food steamer that apparently everybody uses now? And won't it actually help my lose weight, which is not what I want since I read that 'real men love curves'?

Well, I can't be a hypocrit, in the end it is me who follows those pages. It is me who wants to know what's new, what's up and get tips on fancy but easy cooking which I will never try out. t is me who goes to the gym, stays there for 2 months maximum and leaves it frustrated that my butt is not toned like the one I saw on the internet.

That's why I'm taking a huge step today. Yes, it is what you're thinking.
I am going to un-follow all of the pages about health, fitness, dieting, being a perfect housewife and I am going to figure all of the above on my own.

I have a feeling that all of my self-esteem issues started with going through pages like that each day, hoping that I will 'look like her, cook like she does, do interesting things like other people do'.

What in the world was I thinking? I was getting on pretty well before all that crap showed up.

I know very well that there are people who need this, who treat those pages almost as a support group. If that's fine with you, then go ahead, do it.
But I can't, because I take it the wrong way and instead of being myself I'm trying to create a fitter-slimmer-happier-better version of me.

There are no versions of yourself. There is you and you only.
Why waste time on trying to hit the most appropriate body-fat percentage while this ice cream would taste so good on a hot sunny day?
I have no intention of getting obese, unhappy, or of stopping caring for my health.

But as long as I look in the mirror and I smile to myself, why do I have to ruin it by watching '20 perfect butts'?

I like myself for who I am with all the craziness going on around me and all the stupid thoughts I have.

Let's go chase that ice cream van!