Veritas.

Today is the day when I sit down and write. I always need to find that 'fire starter' topic for me, and then it just flows.

To be honest, I pity people who are so insecure that they have to offend others, while everybody knows how miserable they are.

Today I came across a comment of one of my old classmates who was, how to put in nicely in words, the subject of most of jokes made during our high school classes. He could even eat the content of his nose during a lecture.  And it turns out that this pathetic sun of a gun has enough of self confidence to say, that people who swap their genders should be isolated from the 'normal' people because it is not healthy. These are some big words from someone who had been laughed off thousand times in a 4 year time for his ridiculous statements!

Isolate? As far as I'm concerned, Hitler had some 'isolation' ideas too, and it ended up pretty bad.

How can one person judge another in the terms of  happiness? I think those people are brave.

They are at least brave enough to do something completely different to get themselves on a path they need to follow to feel free.

But that's a lesson for me as well. I mean- we have to watch out what we write on the internet.

Because somewhere on the other side, there could be a person who knows you, and if you write bullshit- you can get caught on that! And as long as you are not entirely asocial, I think you should care enough to be true to yourself. (Of course I reacted on in, of course I commented back and of course- he didn't write anything more).

Last week Friday I attended a workshop on conventional objects usage in erotic writing. Girl who organized it at W139, Zola, was just a huge inspiration. She taught me a big lesson about listening to my voice when I aim for writing erotica. How? By reading out loud what I write. And by 'reading out loud' I mean putting emotions in certain words of my own choice.

To begin- everyone had to bring a conventional object to the class. I chose a belt. Why?- I've been asked. Well, it is multifunctional, it is leather and was easy to bring. However, during workshops we've paired up and had to write about the other persons object. My 'pair' chose a grapefruit. So I wrote a piece starting with 'Grapefruit. I'm allergic to grapefruits' and so on. It was a short one, and that was exactly the meaning of it. But I quickly realized how fun it is to give yourself 2 minutes to write about object you pass by every day, but don't acknowledge as something you could describe in an erotic way. Well, next object to write about was a glove and knife. As the glove was a bit problematic to me- knife was a relief. I wrote how I cut strawberries with it and how I lick of the juice off the knife, even though

mommy always told you not to lick a knife!

You see, the interesting part of it, is when you read it and hear your self highlighting some of the words, as if they had an important role inside of your head.

When I wrote 'I licked the red- bloody juice off', what I really meant was:

''  I    l i c k e d.   the red.   bloody.   j u i c e.   off..!  ''

This is what my mind means, this is where I get off a little bit.
Think about all of the other things that are happening in your head when you read your own piece.
Don't you just visualize the knife and the tongue sliding on the safe edge of the knife, reaching for the most juice possible? I immediately picture it, I even know which knife in particular it was. I see the colors of the kitchen sink in the background, I feel the smell of strawberries (or maybe it's just that I had them for breakfast and the smell lingers on my fingers..).
Anyway, the workshop was great and when Zola read her piece about a TV and started with: ''Turn. Me. On..!'' I had a feeling I found ''my people'' and wanted to give her a hug.
The day after I've had my first Writers Meetup Group at the hotel where I work.
Besides meeting talented people with passion for writing, I met interesting people who even know about the Solidarity movement in Poland and who are talking with respect about some of the characters from polish political scene. I had a talk, a drink and exchanged opinions in many fields.
It only convinces me, that this is some kind of a world I belong to. People who are fans of written word, who have an amazing level of irony and huge knowledge. Who put effort in expressing themselves in the most accurate and also reliable way.
One of the participants introduced me to this wonderful idea of learning online.
Did you know how many universities have those online courses on creative writing?
How exciting would it be to participate in a distance course from Oxford?
Jeez, I need to start saving some money right now!

What else? I'm preparing for the visit of my great friend who's coming on 31st of March for 4 nights. Oh boy, aren't we going to have fun!

Also next visit from Poland scheduled- my mom! She announced she's coming at the end of April, right after Easter for more or less 2 weeks. I am happy about it, she'll finally get to see our apartment, see where I work, we will get to talk.. She is not the easiest person in the world and definitely shouldn't run for ''the mother of the year'' title, but she is my mom. And it's nice to see your mom from time to time.
Again I exchanged some emails with my brother, and again I get the impression he should write too.
Maybe a novel? He has some strong opinions and when he speaks (or writes in this case) he takes you on some kind of level, where you see that he is true about what he says, that he's real. I miss that.

I am going to go now, figure some things out. But as I already said last week, I will write more and hopefully post something each week.

Love you all for reading all of this!
xxx