I won't settle for less.

There is such a song by one of my favourite bands Muse, it's called ''Hoodoo''. One of the lyrics lines' says:

 ''I've had recurring nightmares, 

that I was loved for who I am, 

and missed the opportunity to be a better man''.

It popped up in my mind last week. It takes a bit more of your time to understand this, even more than lyrics of Nicki Minaj which I already consider most difficult in the whole music industry.

Anyway, back to the main subject- this is how I feel about love. So many people are sure that they deserve to be loved for who they were all their lifes. In so many films we've all seen a man screaming to a woman ''Take me as I am, if you don't want me this way then we can't be together because I'm not going to change for anybody''. Well, hold your horses there. That's a great line but it's a cliche.

Maybe you're a scumbag who should change his ways before he meets ''the one''?

You can not just walk into somebody's life and expect that you don't have to make compromises, that you don't have to try because, hey, that's me and if you don't like me the way I am, you don't deserve me. That's a bullshit. Two people who met after years of gaining experiences in totally different ways can not just stay the way they were their entire life. You need to adjust!

Yes, you need to understand that the other person doesn't have to accept all of your ways. Please don't get me wrong. I am not saying that you need to change for the other person, no. You need to be yourself, because ''it's all that you can do''. However you can improve some flaws in your character. Think about it. You leave dirty socks all over the place and the other half gets pissed off. You can:

a) leave it the way it is and build tension so high that maybe one day you will find your socks packed outside the door

b) consider putting them in the right place, where they belong

Ok, this is like the most stupid example, but you get my point? Change the ways of doing some of the things you do, not change yourself. 

Matt Bellamy from mentioned above Muse says it all. Being loved for who you are is a beautiful idea, but how much better it is to push that concept away and take in some criticism about yourself. Confront it with yourself, let it change you, improve. One day maybe you'll be grateful for that.

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's better to take things the way they are, close your eyes to some of the issues and spend your life like that. Pretending that you don't see the things that piss you off and lie to yourself that your happy. And I say: work on it. Work on your character. Give each other the chance to improve. For yourselves, for the relationship. 

So, what's up? Well BatMatt is still in bed, I am up from 3 hours, wandering around internet, watching ''Weeds'', thinking about our project, looking at pictures that I take of myself but never publish because I am always afraid that posting more than one picture of yourself a week can make people think I have nothing else to do but smiling to PhotoBooth.

Work. Work, eh. Work is work and at this point I don't know what to think about it.

Lots of people complain, even the ones that you wouldn't suspect, but what the hell, then we have a meeting and everybody is smiling and pretending that they have nothing to say. That's why it's hard, because theoretical and technical stuff is easier than you imagine. 

We booked a weekend in Rotterdam. Mattia always wanted to see the city

, so because of our 1st anniversary this month, I decided to do it now. We have a good excuse I guess! ;)

There is this one thing that bothers me so much: summer! Where are you? My dresses, skirts, tops...they are all waiting for that heat, which makes people drop jackets..

And as a finishing touch for this post I publish a picture of Mattia which I took few days ago.

I think it's lovely, and I don't care.

Lots of love,

Alicja