Boiling.
Well, I've arrived in a very unusual spot of my life.
I am happy with what I achieved.
I have a beautiful house in the heart of Amsterdam, together with my boyfriend we turned it into a warm and welcoming home, we go together through all kind of difficulties and it's great.
My parents are proud of me (which I never thought will happen), I keep on making money at work, so I can afford all of that..
And here we reach this point which I call "unusual".
I'm working in the same place for almost 15 months now. I started low and climbed up a little bit. I had my ups and downs, but I was always devoted to what I do. Not that I'm making my dream come true there, but when I do something- I like to do it good. It has been like that with every job I ever had. Even if it wasn't that great, I put my whole effort in it. And now, where I am at I need that attitude even more, because I deal with people face to face, every time, with different personalities and characters.
I know when I'm good and I know when I suck as well. Sometimes I get a good feedback, sometimes a bad one, but I'm okay with that.
What is so unusual then? Let me get it straight- routine.
There are not many challenges left in the spot where I'm standing, exactly- standing. I stopped. I am not moving on. I am running in circles.
Sure I still like the job, and especially now- I would not be able to quit it. Not even willing to.
I am satisfied with position I switched to in June, totally worth it. I have no problems with my colleagues (ok, with one because he can act disrespectful, and his name is officially "We all know who are we talking about", given on a staff meeting two months ago).
Anyway, back to the subject. I like it. it's a decent job, for a decent money with a reasonable expectations.
But still.. I feel the need to do more. If I still want to keep my job.. then I need to do something after working hours. Something that would fill my schedule a bit, something that I would sincerely enjoy, something that I could lose myself to. My dear BatMatt came up with an idea of going back to photography, like for real. Buy a good book, study it, take more pictures, go to photography exhibitions, revolve around people from the same environment. We talked a lot, about him doing something about his graphic design degree and experience he has, and about me, that I'm still young enough to take care of what I love the most.
Sometimes it's not easy to admit that your heart doesn't belong in what you're doing but I need to open my eyes. I have to face the fact that I don't have to spend my entire life at the place I got stuck at the moment. I need to start moving on and letting everything else be a valuable experience. I need a small revolution. Not to cut myself off from everything I've been doing, but do more in the fields of my personal interests. I remember how wonderful it felt three months ago when my article got published online. My work, with my name on it. Appreciated by someone, brought to community, open to anyone who consider it interesting. Not even getting paid for that. Fantastic!
That was quite serious, wasn't it? Maybe I should bring some updates..
Let me start with finding out that Mattia was right about the mouse in the kitchen. It jumped from in between the trash and ran over my feet. Well, we'll have to eliminate it.
I started to write letters with my mom. It feels nice, oldschool and intimate.
Uhm.. Maybe I'll upload some pictures of our sweet home this week.
That's it. Can't think of aything more.
Today I have the weirdest shift of all time. 7-11.
I didn't leave yet but already want to come home, if you know what I mean.
Have a nice day everybody| And in case I don't see you later: have a good night as well.
xxx
I am happy with what I achieved.
I have a beautiful house in the heart of Amsterdam, together with my boyfriend we turned it into a warm and welcoming home, we go together through all kind of difficulties and it's great.
My parents are proud of me (which I never thought will happen), I keep on making money at work, so I can afford all of that..
And here we reach this point which I call "unusual".
I'm working in the same place for almost 15 months now. I started low and climbed up a little bit. I had my ups and downs, but I was always devoted to what I do. Not that I'm making my dream come true there, but when I do something- I like to do it good. It has been like that with every job I ever had. Even if it wasn't that great, I put my whole effort in it. And now, where I am at I need that attitude even more, because I deal with people face to face, every time, with different personalities and characters.
I know when I'm good and I know when I suck as well. Sometimes I get a good feedback, sometimes a bad one, but I'm okay with that.
What is so unusual then? Let me get it straight- routine.
There are not many challenges left in the spot where I'm standing, exactly- standing. I stopped. I am not moving on. I am running in circles.
Sure I still like the job, and especially now- I would not be able to quit it. Not even willing to.
I am satisfied with position I switched to in June, totally worth it. I have no problems with my colleagues (ok, with one because he can act disrespectful, and his name is officially "We all know who are we talking about", given on a staff meeting two months ago).
Anyway, back to the subject. I like it. it's a decent job, for a decent money with a reasonable expectations.
But still.. I feel the need to do more. If I still want to keep my job.. then I need to do something after working hours. Something that would fill my schedule a bit, something that I would sincerely enjoy, something that I could lose myself to. My dear BatMatt came up with an idea of going back to photography, like for real. Buy a good book, study it, take more pictures, go to photography exhibitions, revolve around people from the same environment. We talked a lot, about him doing something about his graphic design degree and experience he has, and about me, that I'm still young enough to take care of what I love the most.
Sometimes it's not easy to admit that your heart doesn't belong in what you're doing but I need to open my eyes. I have to face the fact that I don't have to spend my entire life at the place I got stuck at the moment. I need to start moving on and letting everything else be a valuable experience. I need a small revolution. Not to cut myself off from everything I've been doing, but do more in the fields of my personal interests. I remember how wonderful it felt three months ago when my article got published online. My work, with my name on it. Appreciated by someone, brought to community, open to anyone who consider it interesting. Not even getting paid for that. Fantastic!
That was quite serious, wasn't it? Maybe I should bring some updates..
Let me start with finding out that Mattia was right about the mouse in the kitchen. It jumped from in between the trash and ran over my feet. Well, we'll have to eliminate it.
I started to write letters with my mom. It feels nice, oldschool and intimate.
Uhm.. Maybe I'll upload some pictures of our sweet home this week.
That's it. Can't think of aything more.
Today I have the weirdest shift of all time. 7-11.
I didn't leave yet but already want to come home, if you know what I mean.
Have a nice day everybody| And in case I don't see you later: have a good night as well.
xxx
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