I did it my way.

I've been thinking about my education, my work experience and skills.

Did you know that I started as a chambermaid? Yeah, that's true.
I mean, I've been working most of my weekends since I turned 16 and was still at school. Jobs like a hostess in a supermarket, promoting mustard or pepper that came in freshly designed jars ('If you buy two jars, you'll get a picture frame with it, completely for free!'). Or giving out leaflets, which actually was a nice thing to do.

I always had that let’s call it ‘ambition’ not to be asking my parents for money if I wanted to go out, buy myself a CD or new shoes.

But my first job after graduating from high-school was a chambermaid.
I was working in a huge hotel during the summer, employed by a job agency which paid me 0,60euro cents per room. It was hot, it was difficult but for 3 weeks I kept up with the position.

After that I found this position at a small and cute hotel near the city centre, which offered a quite fair salary. If I was only to know that our manager was the right hand of the owner just because she slept with him- I probably wouldn't have done that.
I remember that one time I got so sick during autumn, that the stuff coming out of my nose had a different color each day- from bright blue to bloody red. I was coughing like a long time smoker and I was as pale as a white wall. But I still showed up at work. The other day when the manager wasn't expected to come to the hotel and my two colleagues told me to sneak out and go home for a good rest, because I looked just as bad as I probably felt. I did so. But the receptionist saw me leaving on the camera, she called the manager up and next day I was fired. I will never forget that I was told that I was no good for a chambermaid position. You get it, right? Someone literally told me I wasn't not good enough to clean toilets.

My next step, after 3 months of unemployment, was being hired by a fancy supermarket chain in Poland.
I did everything. Starting as a cashier, moving to the alcohol department and finishing at the bakery, which, in a way, I enjoyed the most.
We had 3 different managers during the 6-month period I worked there.
The good guy. The cool girl. And the witch who could call you an idiot with a smile on her face and make you cry like a baby after a 5-minute conversation.
But I was tough and took it all in.

After a one-year break, I decided I wanted to go back to studying. As the English language was always the most appealing subject to me, I chose this to apply for.
The University of Gdansk. I was so happy!
But I will never forget the evening when I told my parents about applying.
My dad stared at the floor for quite a while, not saying a word and my mom's question was 'So, how are WE going to make it, if you will your put money into studying?', meaning I was not going to support the home budget.
You know.. I never complained. Never have, never will. But sometimes I wonder how it feels to be encouraged by your parents to do things that require investing a bit of money.
To get the financial support to pursue your dreams.
Where parents invest in you not you invest in their dreams.
Because it's not like redecorating the apartment was for free, was it? But it still happened.
But the vision of me, not putting half of my salary in their pocket was so terrifying to my parents, that they forgot to be happy for my choice.
I don’t blame them for anything though.

Look. I didn't get in. Not in the first round of applications (after a year I found a letter my mom had hidden away, which said that some people have cancelled and that there was a free spot).

I have no regrets about it, because I believe it just wasn’t meant for me at the time.
So I was persuaded by someone to leave the country and go search for a job in The Netherlands.
The Edam Kingdom. Pindakaas Island. Purple Haze Monarchy.

I was moving fast, double speed because I had to arrange everything not only for myself.
Natural selection let me stay. I proved to be good enough for something more than cleaning toilets.
I got my first job here, and dear academy, the thanks go to my sister and my ex-brother-in-law. They helped me out a lot to spread my wings here.
I've spent nearly 2 years working for a big chain hotel, in different departments. Breakfast buffet, bar, reception. It taught me life lessons, I met wonderful people and 2 of my best friends here. Hey hey! I met Mattia there! 
But I felt it was time to go when I realized there are not too many opportunities other than sticking to what you're doing. 

I moved on. I spent 2 months looking for a job, but I found it!
First a really odd experience with working at a restaurant (which I always said I wouldn't be able to do). I wasn't the best at it and the working hours were killing me, but then the phone rang.
Two job interviews.. Because of one of them I was running late to start my waitress (sorry- 'food runner') shift, but it was worth it.
My first training day at the hotel? Right after a late shift which finished at 2am and I started my day at 6am, running for the tram to Frederiksplein.

I have to tell you, it was all worth it.

In the meantime I've managed to attend to some workshops, to apply for the Orientation Year at Rietveld (I got in but finally didn't attend), apply for a Photography Course (which in the end never started) and now I'm searching to move on with my hobbies. More workshops, courses, National Novel Writing Month in November.

Look. Like I have already mentioned in some posts before- all the decisions I made, I made myself. Some of them were better and some of them worse, but I manage my life on my own. With a little help from my friends, with the support of my siblings.
With Mattia by my side.

Whatever will be, I am ready to face it, because I have proved to myself that I can handle whatever life has for me. So.. bring it on! See what I'm capable of.

I love you all for reading this and appreciate the feedback, thank you!

xxx